Saturday, May 29, 2010

Feeling the effects

I think I am finally feeling the effects of Enbrel lowering my immune system.
A month or so ago when all my family were sick and I didn't get sick whilst being around them constantly (and being showered in kisses by my nephew who was also sick) I finally thought to myself "Hey, maybe Enbrel isn't really affecting my immune system and I won't even notice a difference being on it".
Then I wake up this morning, well almost this afternoon, and what do I have
Sore Throat. Runny Nose. Headache. Sinus Pain. Raspy Voice.
I start thinking, "Maybe it will affect me, maybe it's not as simple and wonderful as I thought with the 'no side effects' I was previously experiencing. Maybe I can't stay up late anymore or go out and have a few drinks on the weekend. Maybe it was all just in my head that I was fine and now that I'm not so ecstatic about everything (boys can make you feel wonderful at the start can't they?) and life doesn't seem so perfect anymore the placebo effect is wearing off."
But then I think, maybe this is good. I can control (to an extent) my RA with my emotions. I can't always be as happy as I was for the first four months of this year but I can be happy enough to allow my RA to give me a bit of a break every now and then by doing what makes me happy.
So then I think of what makes me happy. I think of what I am looking forward to doing and I smile.
Thats what it's all about. Being happy with yourself. Understanding your body to read the signs and slow down before its too late.
Doing what you want.
Having an auto-immune disease is hard to understand, it is hard to comprehend that your body is attacking itself and that there is nothing you can do to stop it.
If you do the most that you can do to be happy then endorphins will grow, your body will thrive and your immune system will stay strong against these nasty little bugs.
This in the only thing you can control and it works. I can vouch for it.

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